Happy New Year everyone! Sorry for the delay in getting up new posts, things have been pretty busy. How about a few beer jokes until we find something interesting to post.
Cheers!
Cheers!
Q. - What did the drunkard get on his I.Q. test?
A. - Drool.
A. - Drool.
WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay
shings like thish.
shings like thish.
A pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks down and says "You know that you have a steering wheel in your pants"
The pirate replies "Ay, it's drivin' me nuts"
The pirate replies "Ay, it's drivin' me nuts"
I give in to BEER pressure.
A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving all over the road. Eventually a cop pulls him over.
"Did you know," says the cop, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
"Did you know," says the cop, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
An Irishmen, A Scot and an Englishmen are in a bar.
a fly lands in the Englishman's beer. In disgust he pushes his beer away and walks out.
Another fly lands in the Scots beer. He shrugs, plucks it out and drinks his beer.
A fly lands in the Irishman's beer. He violently pulls out the fly and puts his finger on it squeezing and yelling, "Spit it out you wee little bugger! Spit it out!"
a fly lands in the Englishman's beer. In disgust he pushes his beer away and walks out.
Another fly lands in the Scots beer. He shrugs, plucks it out and drinks his beer.
A fly lands in the Irishman's beer. He violently pulls out the fly and puts his finger on it squeezing and yelling, "Spit it out you wee little bugger! Spit it out!"
A nun, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall
He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big boobs."
He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big boobs."
and finally, an oldie but goodie...
The Beer Prayer
Our lager
Which art in barrels
Hollowed be thy drink
Thy will be drunk
(I will be drunk)
At home as I am in the travern
Give us this day our foamy head
And forgive us our spillages
As we forgive those who spill against us
And lead us not into incarceration
But deliver us from hangovers
For thine is the beer
The bitter and the lager
Forever and ever
Barmen
The Beer Prayer
Our lager
Which art in barrels
Hollowed be thy drink
Thy will be drunk
(I will be drunk)
At home as I am in the travern
Give us this day our foamy head
And forgive us our spillages
As we forgive those who spill against us
And lead us not into incarceration
But deliver us from hangovers
For thine is the beer
The bitter and the lager
Forever and ever
Barmen
